The Queen of Mexico

I'll be writing about my trip to the Riviera Maya at Recommend and probably also a little bit at Jetblogged, but there's one particular attraction in Playa del Carmen you'll only read about here: the Reina Roja.

My itinerary included several hotel site inspections, with this fiesty little place slipped in, as if nobody would notice we were all of a sudden inside a SEX DUNGEON. A hotel spokesperson took us around and explained that the place was inspired by a "love of women." Then he took us to the porn room.

(I did not take photos in the porn room.)

Now I'm just trying to decide: to what publication should I pitch this place?

These freaky mannequins were stationed all over the lobby/bar area, in various stages of (un)dress. It's not the fashion I'm opposed to here, but the mannequins in the first place. Is this sexy to someone? Anyone?

Here we have "The Green Room," which is a room covered entirely -- floor, walls and ceiling -- in astroturf. See above, re: mannequins. Anyone?

Aw, look, guys. It's the honeymoon suite.

And, naturally, a tattoo parlor, inside a cage, inside a bar. This is where great ideas are born.

In all seriousness, my trip to Playa was a wonderful time, and I can't wait to go back to redeem the hotel stay I won in a raffle. And no, you weirdo, it's not at the Pervy Mannequin Palace.

Passport to Everywhere: 36 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

2. Providenciales, Turks and Caicos

3. Playa del Carmen, Mexico

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Vacation From Everything

The Fisherman's parents celebrated their birthdays with a month in a Turks and Caicos villa this year, and we joined them for the week of Easter. I meant to take pictures and notes and put together an ode to the wonderful time we had ... and then I spent all week swimming and sunbathing and generally ignoring the fact that I'm a writer who takes photos sometimes. But these photos taken by others pretty much tell the whole story.

Rum punches at Da Conch Shack

Sunset
(We watched ours at Magnolia)

Barefoot at Sea 

(No one even referenced "I'm On A Boat," which is weird now that I think of it.)

(An) Infinity (in the) Pool

(This isn't Dawn Beach Villa, where we stayed, but it's close. Just replace that grill with a Jacuzzi tub in your imagination.)

Passport to Everywhere: 37 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

2. Providenciales, Turks and Caicos

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Bimini: Destination #1

The infinity pool at Bimini Bay Resort

So I'm getting ready to fly to Bimini, the closest Bahamian island to Miami, at 4:30 a.m. last Friday, and I think, I'll only be on the island for the afternoon. I'll just throw a little sunscreen on my face. We can't possibly be outside for the entire day.

As it turned out, we could absolutely be outside for the entire day. I'm sunburned all the way down to my knuckles. But you know what? They stamped my passport in the right place. No regrets.

Passport to Everywhere: 38 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Little Whale Cay, Destination Number Zero

Photo by thomashawk, Flickr.

The Passport To Everywhere challenge was born, naturally, on a plane. Joe was flipping through my passport and speculated that I'd need to add more pages soon. I have issues with our country's passport agencies -- my name is misspelled on the front page of my passport, even after I sent it back to have it corrected -- so I wanted to know exactly how long I'll be able to put off dealing with them again. So I counted my remaining empty spots for stamps, assuming four per page: 39. And I'll renew my passport in 2014.

"The way you travel?" Joe said. "That could actually happen." Sounds like a challenge to me.

Our plane was headed to Nassau in The Bahamas, and I was so excited to knock one stamp off the list immediately. Joe and I waited in line at immigration, and I probably handed my passport to the agent with a big, goofy smile on my face. He flipped through the pages, past the original pages, and arrived at the front page of the added pages I had to get a couple years back.

Now, let me explain to you about added passport pages. The front page is a sort of title page, stamped with an explanation that these are government-approved added pages and not just some DIY effort for which I'm sure you could be arrested or detained or whatever. It's not a page for stamps. It might actually say "not for stamps" on the page. No credible immigrations officer would ever stamp this page.

And yet, there is now a Bahamas immigration stamp on that page in my passport. Progress denied.

So 39 is still the working number, but I guess we should consider it more of an estimate. (Grr.)

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Forever, starting now

Photo by FLEECIRCUS

When the Oscars Death Race ended this year, I felt ... kinda sad. It was time-consuming, a bit stressful and often torturous (see: The Wolfman) going through it, but when I didn't have any more movies to squeeze into my busy schedule, I realized how much I was enjoying it all. I also realized that with a deadline, I'd gotten through way more of the movies on my list than ever before. I work under deadlines professionally, so I know they can be great motivators. But I'd never really thought about implementing them for fun before.

As it turns out, I'm the kind of masochist who enjoys living under pressure. So why not use it for good? Here, I'll be laying out goals and deadlines, then tracking my progress as I (hopefully) meet them. I promise to stick to fun, life-enhancing experiences -- no Jersey Shore marathons or whining about weight loss. Here are the three goals I've come up with so far:

• Best Picture Death Race: In the absence of an actual Oscars Death Race, I'll be attempting to see all of the Best Picture winners in chronological order, starting with 1929's Wings. Deadline: Oscar Night 2012.
• Passport to Everywhere: I have 39 empty spots in my passport, and about three years before it expires. The goal is to earn extra pages before I need to renew. Deadline: May 4, 2014.
• Twice Baked Challenge: When Kimra and I started our blog, my goal was to have baked my way through it within a year. That deadline came and went, but with this new focus, I'm hoping to correct the situation. Deadline: Dec. 31, 2011.

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace,PassportToEverywhere,TwiceBakedChallenge