The Clark Gable Show

That's what it's been around my tv the last couple days, and that is not a bad thing at all. Especially not after Cavalcade, which has been my least favorite film in the series since Wings. It's barely worth mentioning, honestly: Men go to war! Women sit around and fret! The world changes! Women sit around and fret some more! All this without Clara Bow to delight me? Awful.

Happily, my reward for sitting through Cavalcade was a double feature starring my boyfriend Clark Gable, who I have loved desired greatly admired for purely artistic, actor-y reasons since I saw Gone With the Wind. And like it or not, I do like Frank Capra -- so sappy, still so good. (Growing up here probably has something to do with that, too.) So It Happened One Night felt like dessert.

And then we came to Mutiny on the Bounty. On one hand, you see a lot less of Clark Gable in favor of characters who are far less attractive interesting. On the other hand, it's still Clark Gable. Seriously, I was born 80 years too late. In actual movie review news, I'm noticing that almost all the films from these early years have trouble ending in a succinct, satisfying manner, at least by today's standards. I didn't need the last half hour of Mutiny -- the details about how the castaways found their way home, the trial and its long monologues.

Were these also examples of scenes in which Clark Gable was noticeably absent? Yes. Yes they were.

Best Picture Death Race: 7 films seen; 75 to go.

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace

Ain't She Grand

Full disclosure: Before Grand Hotel, the only Joan Crawford film I'd ever seen was Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?  To be perfectly honest, I had to double-check to make sure I was watching the same Joan Crawford in Grand Hotel. She is so perfectly sweet and sarcastic that she steals every scene she's in, and when she's not on screen, I found myself wondering when she'd be back. Not a small feat, considering the other names she's up against (Greta Garbo, John Barrymore).

Plot-wise, I'm happy to report that most of the action was unpredictable, a nice departure from the films I've seen so far. It starts as a kind of lighthearted, romantic romp -- but then there's a twist that brings everything way, way down. I'm not sure if I liked the story, ultimately, but I'm happy to have seen the other side of Joan.

Best Picture Death Race: 4 films seen; 78 to go.

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace

Progress Report

It's now the middle of the year, and I dread that I have not made the progress necessary to meet, um, any of my deadlines. So I decided to take stock and form a plan. And I also decided to live-blog this fascinating process. You're welcome.

Best Picture Death Race: I stalled out on this one when our DVD player stopped sending pictures to our TV. It starts up, shows me the welcome screen, and then my TV tells me it gets no signal. This is frustrating, and does not inspire me to want to watch movies.
Time remaining: 37 and a half weeks. Movies remaining: 79 (if I watch them in order, including those I've seen). New plan: At least two movies per week; sometimes fit in a weekend marathon.

Twice Baked Challenge: This one is going to be tricky for me, because The Fisherman and I just started our own inter-marriage Biggest Loser Challenge. But it'll be great for you, because I'll probably just bake a lot of stuff and give it away. But how much do I actually need to bake?
Time remaining: Six and a half months. Recipes remaining: 52, counting "a trio of truffles" as one. New plan: So basically, I need to bake a new thing every four days? That is crazy-talk, unless one of those new things is a sauce or beverage. New resolution: weekly baking sprees, involving two or more recipes. Watch the Twice Baked blog, because seriously, there's going to be a lot to give away.

Passport to Everywhere: Yeah, I have til 2014. At least I have this one.

Photo by Steel Wool, Flickr

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The Queen of Mexico

I'll be writing about my trip to the Riviera Maya at Recommend and probably also a little bit at Jetblogged, but there's one particular attraction in Playa del Carmen you'll only read about here: the Reina Roja.

My itinerary included several hotel site inspections, with this fiesty little place slipped in, as if nobody would notice we were all of a sudden inside a SEX DUNGEON. A hotel spokesperson took us around and explained that the place was inspired by a "love of women." Then he took us to the porn room.

(I did not take photos in the porn room.)

Now I'm just trying to decide: to what publication should I pitch this place?

These freaky mannequins were stationed all over the lobby/bar area, in various stages of (un)dress. It's not the fashion I'm opposed to here, but the mannequins in the first place. Is this sexy to someone? Anyone?

Here we have "The Green Room," which is a room covered entirely -- floor, walls and ceiling -- in astroturf. See above, re: mannequins. Anyone?

Aw, look, guys. It's the honeymoon suite.

And, naturally, a tattoo parlor, inside a cage, inside a bar. This is where great ideas are born.

In all seriousness, my trip to Playa was a wonderful time, and I can't wait to go back to redeem the hotel stay I won in a raffle. And no, you weirdo, it's not at the Pervy Mannequin Palace.

Passport to Everywhere: 36 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

2. Providenciales, Turks and Caicos

3. Playa del Carmen, Mexico

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Tasty Cake, Poor Photo Skills

Yeah, I made an awesome coffee cake and took a few awesome pictures of the awesome coffee cake ... and then I deleted those awesome pictures. But check out ComeUndone's version -- it's prettier than mine, anyway. And then go read about how I fed a group of hungry fishermen with my awesomeness.

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Posted in: TwiceBakedChallenge

Surprise! Old Hollywood had morals and stuff.

I've been consistently amazed at how progressive some of these old films have been. By today's standards, of course, they still have a long way to go. But Cimarron, released in 1931, promotes Native American rights and interracial marriage. I did not see that coming.

When it comes to sexism, on the other hand, we haven't exactly come a long way just yet. Every female character in the movie is either judgmental and bigoted or, in the case of Dixie Lee, a hooker with a heart of gold. (I'm calling "Dixie Lee" as the name of my next pet, by the way.) Yancy Cravat, played by Richard Dix in some truly distracting eyeliner, is the moral compass for the whole town, including his wife Sabra, whose wishes he ignores in order to do the important work of settling the West. (At one point, Yancy argues that white men stole Native Americans' land, which complicates that "noble" goal.) In another unexpected turn, however, Sabra uses her time alone to turn Yancy's newspaper into a thriving business and even wins a seat in the state senate. Still irksome, but a nice change from, say, Clara Bow's She's All That-style transformation and subsequent catfight over her man in Wings.

Perfect, it is not. But it's nice to discover that I'd underestimated us, as a country. And I hope it'll be even more gratifying to keep watching our views evolve.

In the meantime, here's backstage footage of the cast. Richard Dix is the one who can't stop wiping the eyeliner off his face, naturally.

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Vacation From Everything

The Fisherman's parents celebrated their birthdays with a month in a Turks and Caicos villa this year, and we joined them for the week of Easter. I meant to take pictures and notes and put together an ode to the wonderful time we had ... and then I spent all week swimming and sunbathing and generally ignoring the fact that I'm a writer who takes photos sometimes. But these photos taken by others pretty much tell the whole story.

Rum punches at Da Conch Shack

Sunset
(We watched ours at Magnolia)

Barefoot at Sea 

(No one even referenced "I'm On A Boat," which is weird now that I think of it.)

(An) Infinity (in the) Pool

(This isn't Dawn Beach Villa, where we stayed, but it's close. Just replace that grill with a Jacuzzi tub in your imagination.)

Passport to Everywhere: 37 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

2. Providenciales, Turks and Caicos

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

There Is No End

My Twice Baked cofounder Kimra alerted me to this lovely story at NPR about the difference between exploring the world and checking things off the list. A nice reminder:

If "well-read" means "not missing anything," then nobody has a chance. If "well-read" means "making a genuine effort to explore thoughtfully," then yes, we can all be well-read.

In that spirit, I think I'll watch a silly animated movie this weekend.

Photo by tecfan, Flickr

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A Few of My Favorite Things

I like bananas, and chocolate, and coffee. So making these muffins was pretty much a spiritual experience.

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Posted in: TwiceBakedChallenge

"All Quiet": Classic and Devastating

Now this is what I thought the Best Picture Death Race would be like: classic, interesting, thought-inspiring movies. It's not that All Quiet on the Western Front was particularly subtle, or entirely different from anything I'd seen before, or even all that great at telling its story. But it was visually fascinating; you could tell that the director carefully chose the framing of each shot. It was far better acted, with believable and heartwrenching violence. And it just felt like a movie, a good movie, rather than a propaganda piece or a stage show.

For a movie about how dirty and ugly war is, there are plenty of gorgeous scenes here. This one in particular, with its wide view of a crowded landscape, feels like an ancestor to Gone With the Wind.

This simple, artsy shot is the only tranquil scene in the whole movie -- and even this feels sad and sinister. (It's at 9:20.)

And by the end, I was struck by the story's similarities to The Hurt Locker. Soldiers broken by war, dreaming of home until they arrive there and discover they no longer belong.

The scenes themselves are kind of haphazardly strung into a story, but each on its own is genuinely heartbreaking, both because of the way they were crafted, and because we're still telling them -- in film, in books, in the news -- to this day.

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace

Marble (?) Cake!

I am killing the Twice Baked Challenge lately -- muffins last week, a marble cake today, and more muffins on the horizon when the bananas I brought home yesterday ripen. That means I'll have way, way too much Baked goodness to eat on my own, so I'm giving it away. Seriously. Read about my quasi-marble cake, which is not beautiful but is certainly tasty, and if you want some, let me know. First come, first served.

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Posted in: TwiceBakedChallenge

And now, muffins.

It's been a long day. Somewhere between an hour in the dentist's chair, running and hollering around my neighborhood, a couple of marble bundt cakes (baked, not eaten -- yet) and half of my next Death Race Movie, I forgot to let you know that I made muffins the other day, and that they were tasty. Silly me.

(All my Twice Baked Challenge posts will be over at Twice Baked, by the way.)

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Broadway Melody: So You Think You Can Dance?

I guess it was hard out there for a plain girl in 1929. The plot of The Broadway Melody of 1929 unfolds thusly: Girl and Boy are in love; Boy meets Girl's prettier sister; Boy and Pretty Sister fall in love and marry; Girl accepts her plain fate and lives the rest of her life alone. And this is presented to us as a happy ending. Geez.

I was pretty excited about watching the super-old movies when I started this race, but this one really wore on me. I am not a lover of the musical genre, and there wasn't much else in this film to keep me watching. But I did learn one thing: tap dancing is possible on pointe. Seriously, look at this madness (toe tapping starts at 0:45):

I wish I could find a longer version of that woman's performance -- the clip above is highly edited, but the original went on for a good several minutes. That's just crazy impressive, I don't care who you are.

Next up: All Quiet on the Western Front, which also happens to be the first title I recognize in the race so far. Looking forward to something a little meatier.

Best Picture Death Race: 2 down, 81 to go.
Seen so far:
1928: Wings
1929: The Broadway Melody

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Bimini: Destination #1

The infinity pool at Bimini Bay Resort

So I'm getting ready to fly to Bimini, the closest Bahamian island to Miami, at 4:30 a.m. last Friday, and I think, I'll only be on the island for the afternoon. I'll just throw a little sunscreen on my face. We can't possibly be outside for the entire day.

As it turned out, we could absolutely be outside for the entire day. I'm sunburned all the way down to my knuckles. But you know what? They stamped my passport in the right place. No regrets.

Passport to Everywhere: 38 stamps to go.

0. Little Whale Cay

1. Bimini

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Little Whale Cay, Destination Number Zero

Photo by thomashawk, Flickr.

The Passport To Everywhere challenge was born, naturally, on a plane. Joe was flipping through my passport and speculated that I'd need to add more pages soon. I have issues with our country's passport agencies -- my name is misspelled on the front page of my passport, even after I sent it back to have it corrected -- so I wanted to know exactly how long I'll be able to put off dealing with them again. So I counted my remaining empty spots for stamps, assuming four per page: 39. And I'll renew my passport in 2014.

"The way you travel?" Joe said. "That could actually happen." Sounds like a challenge to me.

Our plane was headed to Nassau in The Bahamas, and I was so excited to knock one stamp off the list immediately. Joe and I waited in line at immigration, and I probably handed my passport to the agent with a big, goofy smile on my face. He flipped through the pages, past the original pages, and arrived at the front page of the added pages I had to get a couple years back.

Now, let me explain to you about added passport pages. The front page is a sort of title page, stamped with an explanation that these are government-approved added pages and not just some DIY effort for which I'm sure you could be arrested or detained or whatever. It's not a page for stamps. It might actually say "not for stamps" on the page. No credible immigrations officer would ever stamp this page.

And yet, there is now a Bahamas immigration stamp on that page in my passport. Progress denied.

So 39 is still the working number, but I guess we should consider it more of an estimate. (Grr.)

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Posted in: PassportToEverywhere

Wings, or My Own Private Clara Bow

I kicked off the Best Picture Death Race yesterday with Wings. (No, not that Wings. And not that one either.) It's the only silent film to have won a Best Picture Oscar, and with the exception of Steamboat Willie, it's also the only silent film I've ever actually seen. And I kind of loved it, in a MST3K kind of way.

There's not so much a plot here as propaganda: Our Boys are going to War! They are Doing the Right Thing! Let's all Learn some Important Lessons! But once you accept that fact, and spend some time settling into the genre, it's easy to appreciate the little things. Little things like the school of acting that tells the audience a character is dead when he simply falls down, as if he's lost his balance all of a sudden. There's also the most uncomfortably bromantic relationship I've ever seen on film, and a scene written by someone who clearly did not understand the effects of alcohol on the human body. (If champagne has ever given you vivid hallucinations, I want to hear your story.)

And then there is my new favorite actress, Clara Bow.

Backstory: My college roommate was a perky, expressive lady named Katie. She got involved in student theater, and later, in improv comedy. And when she stepped on stage, she transformed into the modern day Clara Bow. They even look alike. I just didn't know it at the time.

Katie and I live in different states now, and we're both pretty busy these days; I miss her bubbly spirit. But it's nice to know that I can get a fake friendship fix just by scanning Clara Bow clips on YouTube. (And if you happen to be in Atlanta, you can catch the real thing on stage!)

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace

Forever, starting now

Photo by FLEECIRCUS

When the Oscars Death Race ended this year, I felt ... kinda sad. It was time-consuming, a bit stressful and often torturous (see: The Wolfman) going through it, but when I didn't have any more movies to squeeze into my busy schedule, I realized how much I was enjoying it all. I also realized that with a deadline, I'd gotten through way more of the movies on my list than ever before. I work under deadlines professionally, so I know they can be great motivators. But I'd never really thought about implementing them for fun before.

As it turns out, I'm the kind of masochist who enjoys living under pressure. So why not use it for good? Here, I'll be laying out goals and deadlines, then tracking my progress as I (hopefully) meet them. I promise to stick to fun, life-enhancing experiences -- no Jersey Shore marathons or whining about weight loss. Here are the three goals I've come up with so far:

• Best Picture Death Race: In the absence of an actual Oscars Death Race, I'll be attempting to see all of the Best Picture winners in chronological order, starting with 1929's Wings. Deadline: Oscar Night 2012.
• Passport to Everywhere: I have 39 empty spots in my passport, and about three years before it expires. The goal is to earn extra pages before I need to renew. Deadline: May 4, 2014.
• Twice Baked Challenge: When Kimra and I started our blog, my goal was to have baked my way through it within a year. That deadline came and went, but with this new focus, I'm hoping to correct the situation. Deadline: Dec. 31, 2011.

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Posted in: BestPicDeathRace,PassportToEverywhere,TwiceBakedChallenge